LORD, I am crying to you because I am in great (trouble). 2 Lord, listen to my voice. Turn your ears to hear what I am saying to you. 3 LORD, if you make a note of sins, who will stand? 4 But you forgive (people) so that they are in awe of you.
When I have days of doubts or have something I am struggling with, I always turn to the Psalms for encouragement and further guidance. It is my first stop before diving in deeper into God’s word. In the past I had trouble forgiving my biological father for being physically abusive to my mother and sisters. I was almost a miscarriage and when my mother tried to run away from him, he followed her to Miami from Boston threatening to kill her. It took a long time before I gave it up to the Lord completely and let Him judge the situation and not me. Today I have nothing to do with my father because it is a unhealthy relationship for my family and he is still the same man today that he was over 30 years ago and it is not safe for my kids. However, I pray for his salvation and I pray for my family members that were damaged by his actions and were scared for life by the physical and emotional trama he caused them. Maybe one day he will repent for his sins and take full responsibility for his actions.
When reading Psalm 130, it reminds me of how I felt growing up. However, in that time I did not have the Lord in my life to guide me. The writer calls out to God in the depths of his despair. Despair has a way of making us all feel isolated and distant from God and the ones we love. Despair over sin should never led to self pity as I had to learn the hard way, but it usually does. When we are in despair we tend to think more about ourselves and less about God. Instead we should be seeking Him for redemption and help for building us back stronger than we were before. As I have learned, when you feel sorry for yourself it can lead to having anxiety and feelings of hopelessness, but crying out to God will connect you with the only one that can truly fix you from your problems.
In Psalm 130:3-4, the writer talks about keeping a record of sins, this leads to building walls with others. Just like God offers us forgiveness for our sins, we should offer forgiveness for the sins of others against you. It is impossible to talk to God and others with a wall built between them. This is why we can always turn to our Heavenly Father to repent and seek His forgiveness. I learned this from my loving wife Amy long ago, but this lesson took me many years to fully understand and longer to put into action. When the Lord forgives us, He takes down the walls and restores our connection back with Him. Therefore we revere God and can talk to Him about anything going on in our lives no matter how big or small. When we pray to our Heavenly Father, He holds nothing against you and that communication is restored and completely open. What a wonderful thing to think about when you are struggle with a sin or an unforgiving heart. When I gave my hate up to the Lord, I felt a weight lifted off of my shoulders and my bitterness slowly went away. This allowed me to put my focus on building a stronger relationship with my wife, my children, and the ones I love.
So if anyone is having issues with thinking they cannot be forgiven or forgiving others, please think of this lesson and these last two scriptures I am leaving you with. Please have a blessed day!
Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone; so that your Father, who is in heaven, may also forgive you your transgressions.
“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive men, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”